How do I handle a crying child on the first day of pre-school?
Stay calm and warm, greet the child by name, encourage a short, confident goodbye from the parent, offer a comforting item or simple job, and distract gently with an interesting activity. Acknowledge feelings ('You miss Mummy. She will come after lunch') and keep routines predictable. Most children settle within days or a few weeks.
What this means in practice
Separation anxiety is normal between about 8 months and 3 years and can return at new transitions. A gradual settling-in plan helps.
Settling-in strategies
- Short first days, increasing gradually
- A photo of the family or a comfort toy
- A consistent key person
- A goodbye ritual (wave at the window)
- Telling parents not to sneak away
Working with parents
Share a settling-in plan, send a quick message when the child calms down and give positive updates at pickup.
Supporting parents too
Parents often feel as anxious as their children. Reassure them with a clear plan, a message when their child settles, and a positive word at pickup. Encourage them to prepare at home by talking about school, reading stories about starting school and practising short separations. When parents feel confident, children settle faster.
Practical next steps
- Prepare a settling-in plan before term.
- Brief parents on goodbyes.
- Plan engaging first-day activities.
- Note what comforts each child.
Common follow-up questions
Should parents stay in class?
Briefly in the first days, if the school allows, then leave confidently.
How long does settling take?
Usually days to a few weeks.
Sources
Course facts from APTTI's published course pages, checked 10 October 2026. Editorial policy.